“Jimmy”

By: Kristin England; ©2001

Abortion doesn’t only affect women. This month Kristin England shares the story of Jimmy Murphy, who was as much a victim of abortion as his girlfriend. Jimmy relates his struggles, and how he found peace with God. This is part twenty-seven of a series dealing with the after-effects of abortion.

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Recently, Kelly and I were having one of our nighttime talks. She was having “boyfriend” troubles. She thinks she just has to have a boyfriend. I explained to her that the one we should love the most, above all else, is God. If we give God first place in our lives, all the rest will be okay. I told her that I prayed all the time for her to grow up to be a godly woman and marry a man who loved God with all his heart and that he would love her as Christ loved the church.

Kelly immediately replied, “You mean like Jimmy Murphy? I’m sure he prays to God before he does anything.” I told her she was right. Jimmy Murphy was indeed a godly man. But he wasn’t always so…

Abortion hurts men as well as women. Here is Jimmy’s story of how he went from pain to praise:

My name is Jimmy Murphy. I would like to tell of my journey of life in coming to know the Lord Jesus Christ as my Savior and Lord.

I was one of six children raised on a small income because my dad had been disabled to work since he was thirty-five years of age because of a back injury. We did not have a lot of material things but we had the love my mom and dad. I thank the Lord that I know what it means to be loved unconditionally even before I came to know the Lord Jesus.

I made a promise when I was about ten years old that I was going to make lots of money when I grew up so I could have all the things I wanted to make me happy. I thought that things could bring happiness even at that young age. I was so hurt to go to school and see the other kids with their nice toys and new ball gloves and cool clothes and we wore clothes purchased at the second hand store. I was embarrassed about our lack of material wealth. I tried to compensate by being funny and trying to be a cool guy at school.

At sixteen years old a friend and I decided we were going to make us some “easy money” so we went to the parking lot of the local community college and proceeded to steal the hubcaps from a car there in the parking lot. We were planning to start a hubcap business with stolen hubcaps. As the Lord would have it we were caught and arrested that first time and took to jail.

I would rather anything in the world to have happened to me than to have the police officer call my mom and dad to come and get me. I did not want to face them being a thief! How could they still love me after this embarrassment? Well they came to the police station and got me and it happened that they came in the same car as my friend’s parents. We rode home in silence and it was the longest ride I have ever taken.

When we arrived at our house we got out at the end of our driveway and I just stood there till the car was out of sight. My mom asked me what I was waiting for and I told her I was going to leave home. I was ashamed so much that I had disappointed them and I would leave. My mom and my dad both wrapped their arms around me and told me that they would always love me and no matter what I did I was still their son and they wanted me at home. I cried and cried with them there and promised I would never steal again.

Unfortunately, I did not stay out of trouble. I got into drugs and alcohol before I graduated from high school and I was determined to live the “good life” as I saw it. When I graduated from high school I got a job making pretty good money and got me a new car and a new motorcycle. I bought what I thought was cool clothes and I went to the nightclubs three times every week. I would drink and dance and try to have a girl to go home with before the night was over. I worked every day and would come home and sleep in order to have the energy to go to the nightclubs on the nights my friends and me went. I got into gambling and we shot pool to make more money to have to drink and play the big shot.

Finally, this kind of life style got to be so boring and empty I decided that I needed a change. I got a girlfriend and we were going to be married in a few months. I thought this was what I needed to do because I thought life was just about new experiences and trying everything there was to do. Before we were married she found she was pregnant. Rather than embarrass her family we decided to have an abortion. So we went and did away with the baby at the local hospital. I had no idea whatsoever what a terrible decision we were making.

After we were married we had drug parties and drinking parties every week. I was leading a life of free living and I would brag to the men I worked with. “I may go to hell when I die, but I will be my own man when I get there. I am tired of people telling me what to do.” We continued for about two years till I was almost twenty-one years of age. I had been getting so tired of this life of no real purpose that I was unhappy all of the time.

I would be stoned on drugs and yet could not get the emptiness out of my mind. I would see everyone else in the room laughing and smiling and I would wonder if they were as empty and disgusted as I. It came to the point where my wife and I were arguing all the time. I hated coming home and I would be high before I got there every day. My heart was so empty and I wanted something in my life to give me some purpose and peace but I did not know where to turn. I would just blame my troubles on those around me and I would take all my frustrations out on whoever was the person closest at the time.

It all came to a head on “Good Friday ” in Nineteen Seventy-Four. We went to Under Ground Atlanta to spend the holiday. While my wife and her sister hit all the shops I sat in a bar and drank all day long. I went out a few times for food or to see a shop and then return to the bar. I sat in the bar till we decided to leave for Chattanooga around ten o’clock that evening.

We stopped outside Atlanta and I purchased two more six-packs of beer to drink on the way home. I finished my booze and demanded that I drive the rest of the way home. I was very ugly in my speech and they let me behind the wheel. When we were getting close to home I told my wife to light me a cigarette, when she handed it to me I took it and put the fire end in my mouth. I became so angry I cursed her and call her every name I could think of for the next half-hour as I drove toward home.

When I was a few miles from home I pulled the van over and I got out and told them I never wanted to see them ever again. I hated them all and I was leaving for good. I was bare foot so I got my shoes in my hand and I started to walk up the highway toward my dad’s house. It was about one o’clock in the morning when I got to his house. We lived in the country and never locked our doors so I knew what to do. I would sneak into his house and get his shotgun and go up into the woods behind their house and take my own life. I was so miserable I honestly did not want to live any more.

As the Lord would have it my dad locked his door that night and as I drunkenly tried to get in he came to the door. He asked me what was wrong and I just said my wife and I had a fight. He said, “Why don’t you come on in and talk a while?” I just stepped in and sat down at the kitchen table and he just let me talk. I told him how I hated what was going on and I was so unhappy. He asked me, “Jim have you ever thought about giving your heart to Jesus?” I told him I did not need religion. I had seen deacons tell dirty jokes like I did and I said if it does not change me on Monday I do not want it on Sunday. He did not argue with me; he just let me talk.

I told him everything about my life and I just wanted someone to listen and understand what I was going through. I told him about the abortion and how it haunted me to think I had killed an innocent little baby who could do nothing to defend itself. I told him I did not want to see the sun come in the morning. I told him “I must be the most miserable person on the earth.” It was about that time I heard something in the other part of the house and I asked dad what was that noise? He said, “It’s just your mom.” So I asked him what she was doing up at this time. He said, “She’s praying for you, Jimmy.”

That was all the Lord needed to have me acknowledge my need for Him. I told my dad, “Ever since I was a young boy and you took me to church I have heard Jesus is the answer. I have tried making money, alcohol, drugs, sex and everything else people would tell me was great and I am ready to take my own life.” I told my dad, “Tonight I am going to give Jesus a chance to change my life and if He can give me some peace in my heart, He can have my life.”

I did not know how to pray, I just looked up at my father’s kitchen ceiling and somehow I knew the Lord could hear me talking to Him. I prayed a very simple prayer of surrender. I said, “Lord Jesus, if I died tonight I know I would spend eternity in hell, but Lord I do not want to go to hell and I am asking you to save me tonight.” I held up my hands in surrender and said, “If you can forgive my sins and give me peace in my heart, you can have my life.”

I prayed that prayer twenty-seven years ago and I am witness that the Lord Jesus will forgive and cleanse from all sin. He gave me peace I had longed for and did not know where to find it. In my heart I heard the word I had needed to hear for twenty-one years. “Forgiven.” I knew in my heart that I was truly free from the penalty of my rebellion and that the blood that Jesus shed on the cross had paid my price. I am so glad that He loved me and saved me from my destructive life style and gave me purpose and direction for my life.

I want to encourage anyone who might read this story that it is the honest truth and you can trust my Lord Jesus Christ to come into your heart and set up His Kingdom of Peace in your life. Call on Him today!