By: Kristin England; ©2001
The recent death of a young friend caused Kristin England to remember how God comforted her after her abortion. She shares her thoughts this month. This is part nineteen of a series dealing with the after-effects of abortion.


She had the most beautiful smile. That’s what I remember most about her. Her dream was to come to work at Hair Benders Internationalé. She was so excited on her first day there. She was always there with a helping hand and a willing heart. I knew right off that she was a very special person and I was so glad she would be working with us. She had only been married to Jack for a year and he adored her. They were young and in love with life.

She had a lot of ambition and was there for every cutting class striving to be the very best hairdresser she could be. She was so dedicated to her job that she came to the last cutting class even when she was sick. She was having trouble breathing so Voula sent her home to rest and get well. When her breathing became more difficult they took her to the emergency room and she was put in ICU.

When I got to work that next Tuesday everyone was talking about her being in ICU with pneumonia. I remember thinking, “She is too young to be this sick.” Then she got worse instead of better. They put her on a heart and lung machine so her lungs could rest and heal. Still she didn’t get any better. They tried to do a biopsy but her oxygen level dropped so they had to stop. The doctors didn’t know why she was so sick…didn’t know what to do. They took the chance and did a surgical lung biopsy. She made it through that surgery and still the tests came back negative. She had the best doctors in the area. Still, they had no clue as to why she was so ill.

I knew that only family was allowed in to see a patient when they were in ICU so I hadn’t gone to the hospital to see her. Then God put her family on my heart, so I went to the hospital to see what I could do to help them. I knew they hadn’t left Kimura’s side and needed food and clothes washed, so I did what I could to help. I was surprised when they let everyone go in to visit Kimura. She was in a chemical sort of sleep to protect her from the intense pain she had been in. We all talked to her hoping she could still hear our words of encouragement and love even though she couldn’t respond. Dan, her father, prayed with her trusting that she understood.

I fell in love with this sweet family immediately. Kimura was everything to her husband and parents. As time passed and they still didn’t know how to help her, we prayed for God to do a miracle. That seemed to be all the hope that was left. Her mother asked everyone to pray for a miracle and nothing less. She said she didn’t want to live if her daughter died. I prayed night and day for Kimura and her family. I could not get her off my mind. In fact she made an impact on many, many people.

When I got home from church last Sunday they called and said I should come to the hospital right away. Her organs had been shutting down and now they had to cut the machine back so she didn’t have long to live. Jack had been so strong for a young husband and I knew he would be overcome with grief. My heart was so heavy with compassion.

There were several gathered around Kimura’s hospital bed praying silently as they watched the numbers on the machines start to fall. Then I heard her mother cry out in pain. “No! No! You can’t leave me!” I looked up to see the line on the screen was now straight.

I felt the pain again of losing my own child as I heard Mary cry out to her daughter. I remembered when I had felt just as Mary now felt. She is angry and in such grief that it’s almost too much to bear. She keeps saying, “I just can’t stand it without her.”

Mary wants to run away from the memories as I once had done. She doesn’t want to think about the pain and great loss. Denial…there it is again. We can’t stand the pain of losing our children so we try to put it out of our minds.

I could have saved my baby’s life but Mary had no choice. Yet even with this sadness, I know I am forgiven and healed of my dreadful pain. I know my son is in Heaven, but I also emotionally gave my child to God as Hannah did in I Samuel 1 that he might abide with the LORD forever. Knowing how much God truly loves us, I can have faith that “all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose. For whom he did foreknow, he also did predestinate to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the first-born among many brethren. Moreover, whom he did predestinate, them he also called; and whom he called, them he also justified; and whom he justified, them he also glorified. What shall we then say to these things? If God be for us, who can be against us?” (Romans 8:28-31)

I believe that my healing came to me so completely because I chose to put God first in my life. It’s amazing what God can do when a heart is totally yielded to Him. I pray that all who came in contact with Kimura and all who hear her name will decide to put God above all else in their lives and follow His plan for their lives. I know that my co-workers and I will never be quite the same. We realize that life can be taken so quickly. We should cherish each moment and let others know how much we care about them. I know this experience has caused me to be more earnest in sharing Jesus with those I come in contact with and telling them how very much He loves them.

Our ways are not God’s ways so sometimes it’s hard to understand the whys, but we must trust the sovereign hand of God and know that He does everything perfectly and on time.

We will remember Kimura-Lea Zunitch-Rairden and our children with love and can be certain that all who have trusted Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior will one day be reunited with them for eternity in Heaven. As David said in 2 Samuel 12:22-23: “While the child was yet alive, I fasted and wept; for I said, who can tell whether God will be gracious to me, that the child may live? But now he is dead, why should I fast? Can I bring him back again? I shall go to him, but he shall not return to me.”

“And I, John, saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down from God out of heaven, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband. And I heard a great voice out of heaven saying, Behold the tabernacle of God is with men, and he will dwell with them, and they shall be his people, and God himself shall be with them, and be their God. And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain; for the former things are passed away.” (Revelation 21:2-4)

Read Part 20

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