“Pride of Life”

continued…

All my money was gone! Did I really think the money I had received from an automobile accident would last forever? I had spent it all on an apartment and “fun.” I hadn’t wanted to live with my mother at my grandmother’s house. They wouldn’t allow me to continue the party life I had become accustomed to so I moved out on my own. I wanted no authority in my life. But what would I do now that the money was gone? I was much too proud and stubborn to admit I was in the wrong and ask for help. I couldn’t live my life of sin if I moved back home.

I was broke and hungry. My girlfriend parked near a restaurant waiting for the Krispy Kreme doughnut truck to deliver fresh doughnuts for the breakfast crowd. They hadn’t opened the restaurant yet and no one was around so she drove by the front door and I hopped out to snatch up our meal for the day. I knew I was doing wrong but I told myself it was okay because I was so hungry. I was worse than a beggar, now I was a thief too. What would become of me?

My girlfriend and I had saved all our liquor bottles and had them lined up around the living room of the apartment. We used them for candleholders and let the wax run down the sides of the bottles for decoration. One evening my grandmother came over to talk to me. I was embarrassed that she saw the proof of my drinking. I loved her and wanted to keep my sins a secret from her. I can still remember her kneeling to pray and asking God to save me. I know her heart must have truly been breaking as she was praying for me. I can imagine her telling me: “Hear and pay attention, do not be arrogant, for the LORD has spoken. Give glory to the LORD your God before he brings the darkness, before your feet stumble on the darkening hill. You hope for light, but he will turn it to thick darkness and change it to deep gloom. But if you do not listen, I will weep in secret because of your pride; my eyes will weep bitterly, overflowing with tears, because the LORD’S flock will be taken captive” (Jeremiah 13:15-17).

My grandmother had asked me to come back home but now I was in front of my peers and had to remain “cool.” My pride was feeding itself on the approval of friends when what I really needed was God’s approval and just wouldn’t humble myself to seek it. I was so far from God that I didn’t even think about praying for myself. As I look back on my life, I am so thankful for the people who did pray for me. I hope they know what a difference it made in my life.

It was pride that played a big part in my decision to abort my baby boy. I didn’t want to admit to all my friends and family that I had sinned by having sex before marriage. And of course, it really wasn’t my fault to begin with since I had been raped the first time. But my friend it is this pride that destroys us. For… “Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall” (Proverbs 16:18). If only I had given God control of my life instead of wanting to control the situation myself. But I had a rebellious heart with desires of my own.

It was Satan’s pride that caused him to want to be as God. When we have a proud spirit we are most like our adversary the devil. We are to “Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world. And the world passeth away, and the lust there of it; but he that doeth the will of God abideth forever” (I John 2:15-17).

To be associated with Satan is not a pleasant thought for me “lest being lifted up with pride I fall into the condemnation of the devil” (I Timothy 3:6). The devil and his followers will be “cast into the lake of fire and brimstone, where the beast and the false prophet are, and shall be tormented day and night forever and ever” (Revelation 20:10).

I was so ashamed of the way I had treated my family…all for the approval of false friends. Now that all my money was gone, these friends had no need of me. My “friends” deserted me. I had no choice but to humble myself and move back home. I’m thankful that I have a forgiving family that still loved me no matter what I did. They demonstrated the love of my heavenly Father. “With pride comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom” (Proverbs 11:2).

Our pride begins to diminish when we admit we are wrong and allow the Lord to change our hearts. “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble” (James 4:6). God’s grace is amazing! We don’t have thankful hearts until we realize we are hopeless by ourselves. Then we begin to appreciate all God has done and continues to do for us. Jesus humbled Himself for our sakes! That alone is worthy of our praises forever!

If we don’t deal with our pride, we will one day pay the consequences: “The lofty looks of man shall be humbled, and the haughtiness of men shall be bowed down, the LORD alone shall be exalted in that day. For the day of the LORD of hosts shall be upon every one who is proud and lofty and upon every one who is lifted up, and he shall be brought low” (Isaiah 2:11-12).

It was good that I moved home as “Better it is to be of an humble spirit with the lowly, than to divide the spoil with the proud. He that handleth a matter wisely shall find good; and whoso thrusteth in the LORD, happy is he” (Proverbs 16:19-20). I had to admit I was wrong in serving my own pleasures just as I had to admit I had done wrong in choosing abortion as the cure for my sin of fornication.

Until next time…I pray that you do as “the LORD requires of thee, to do justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with thy God” (Micah 6:8).

Read Part 8