“Lonely?”

continued…

I was on a spiritual high and couldn’t get enough of God’s Word. I was in church every time the doors opened. I was like a sponge absorbing all I could the first few months after I asked Jesus into my heart. I was going to a little Independent Baptist church with my brother and his wife. Dr. Benn was a great preacher and I learned much from this godly man.

I went to a one on one discipleship class with a lady close to my house. She was teaching me how to be a follower of Christ. I studied my lessons and couldn’t wait for the next service. She kept telling me I had to make new friends and above all not go back to my old relationships. She quoted me Ephesians 5:11 all the time: “And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness but, rather, reprove them.” She said they would pull me down. Well I thought I was so saved that nothing could bring me down but I listened to her for a time.

Then my brother and his family moved to Cincinnati, Ohio. Now I sat on the pew alone. I loved Dr. Benn’s sermons but I hadn’t made any friends that I could spend time with there. I was lonely. I decided to go see the guy I had been dating before I was saved. I’m sorry to say it didn’t take long after that to slip back into my old sin habits. I believe that would be called “backsliding.”

I thought life was terrible before I was saved, but it was nothing compared to the miserable life I now led. I suffered the pain of knowing how far from truth and God I was. My discipleship friend’s warning was indeed warranted. So dear reader, “Be not deceived: Evil company corrupts good morals” (I Corinthians 15:33).

After a few years away from God I knew I must return but I couldn’t seem to get that joy I had when I was first saved. I missed the sweet fellowship with my Savior. My brother told me to read Psalms so I did that but I still felt cold. Then I came across Psalm 51:10-13 and I prayed these words to God: “Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me. Cast me not away from thy presence, and take not thy Holy Spirit from me. Restore unto me the joy of thy salvation, and uphold me with a willing spirit. Then will I teach transgressors they ways, and sinners shall be converted unto thee.”

I’m so thankful that God answers the prayers of a repentant heart!

Tonight the Word Of Life Mission team for Austria was at church. At the close of the service they had little dedication cards to give to those who wanted them. I had gone forward six years ago when they were here to make this same dedication:

“ALL I am, ALL I have, ALL I ever hope to be… I now and forever dedicate to the Lord Jesus Christ for His use and glory, absolutely, unconditionally, now and forever.”

I promised myself and God that I would listen to His still small voice and do as I was asked…no matter what!

I believe that was the night I truly made Jesus my LORD, not just my Savior. I hadn’t given Him ALL of me until then. That was also the time I was taking the Post Abortion Bible Study and the Experiencing God Bible Study. My plate was indeed full. I don’t regret for a moment the lack of sleep through that time for I believe the two Bible studies sort of worked together for my good and God’s ultimate Glory.

God has given me many very dear friends and mentors since then. Please allow me to tell you about some of them. The first was Odessa White. She has gone to be with Jesus now. She was a missionary in Japan and was the godliest lady I have ever known. She was a beautiful witness till her last breath. She suffered the pain of her illness for many years but never complained. I loved her very much and can’t speak her name without tears now. She showed me what it meant to love God with all your heart.

Then there is Vestal Harwood. She was my teacher at church until her eyes became so bad she could no longer see. She still teaches with her life. I look to her for wisdom and truth. I suggest you find a gray haired saint to mentor you in your spiritual walk and people who will hold you accountable.

Pat Macaulay is a good friend and it was through her that I met John Ankerberg and I am now writing for him. I wanted to tell the world that abortion hurts but God heals. I wrote a letter asking for testimonies telling how very much abortion really does hurt. I knew God wanted me to tell people this so when I received no responses I didn’t understand. Then Pat, John and his wife Darlene were my guests at the AAA Women’s Services Banquet and John read my letter and my testimony and the rest is history. WOW! Now I can tell the whole world. God’s ways are bigger than my ways!

I encourage you to be in a church with a pastor who preaches TRUTH and make friends there. I’m thankful that I have such a pastor in Gary Jared and my best friends are the friends I go to church with. I can sit all the way across the sanctuary from some of them and we speak to each other with our eyes. We are so close that we know each other’s thoughts. We aren’t afraid to tell about our hurts and help each other.

Lately I’ve shed some tears because dear friends have moved on in their walk with the Lord and won’t be directly in my life anymore. Two of these friends have been instrumental in my abortion healing process and spiritual growth. When someone plays such an important part in your life and has had some of the same pains that you have had; you form a very special bond with them. It’s hard to let them go. One night I cried most of the night and prayed for God to help me see His reasoning for this. I just didn’t want to let them go.

Then I looked back at all the good friends in my life. I began to see how God had sent each friend to hold my other hand as I walked with Him. I could see how He had sent me just the perfect friend at just the perfect moment in time…His time. It is incredible how God has used these people to help mold me into the workable vessel that He wants me to be. I can’t wait to meet my next new friend! Actually, I just met Hallerin Hilton Hill. He wrote “Seven Pillars of Wisdom” and is also a songwriter, talk show host in Knoxville and a motivational speaker. Hallerin taught me the importance of discipline in all areas of my life and gave me a yearning for wisdom.

I pray that God sends you many godly friends too!

Read Part 18