“With All My Heart”

By: Kristin England; ©2001
In this article, Kristin England answers the question, “What was the most important healing factor after my abortion?” Her answer? “Love God.” This is part twenty-two of a series dealing with the after-effects of abortion.


Wednesday nights have become a very special time for several ladies at my church. Peggy and Diann started a class to discuss the book Intimate Issues. The book is about becoming the wives that God wants us to be. We read a chapter each week then talk about whatever the Holy Spirit brings to the front of the class. We help each other through difficult times and work on improving our walk with God.

Last week one of the ladies made a comment that is so very true. I had been asked by several what I thought was the most important healing factor after my abortion. I had been pondering this question for some time and when she told the class what she believed to be the most important thing we should all do, I knew this was the answer. We must first LOVE GOD!!

Think about it…the main theme of the Bible is LOVE: “For God so loved the world [the world includes YOU] that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life” (John 3:16).

I will never forget the Sunday in Danville, Kentucky, when my best friend Ginger and I were in a room “playing church.” She read me her favorite verse in the Bible… “God is love.” It was so good to hear and I’ve always remembered this verse and my friend. By accepting Jesus we can know this love too. For

“If anyone acknowledges that Jesus is the Son of God, God lives in him and he in God. And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him. In this way, love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the Day of Judgment, because in this world we are like him. There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. We love because he first loved us.” (1 John 4:15-19)

Yes, to know for certain we have been forgiven our many sins and will be in Heaven can calm the fearful heart. We don’t have to worry about how many good deeds we do. We don’t have to be good enough for God to forgive us our sin of aborting our children. We could never be good enough to get to Heaven. Jesus was the only one without sin.

God made love the most important commandment because He is love. When one of the Pharisees asked Jesus, “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?” Jesus relied, “‘Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’” (Matthew 22:36-37) When you love God with all your heart you want to please Him. You want to keep His commandments because Jesus said in John 14:21: “Whoever has my commands and obeys them, he is the one who loves me. He who loves me will be loved by my Father, and I too will love him and show myself to him.” You want to know Him more. You want to spend time with Him and replace your will with His will.

God wants to bless us if only we would follow His direction. “This is what the LORD says—your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel: ‘I am the LORD your God, who teaches you what is best for you, who directs you in the way you should go. If only you had paid attention to my commands, your peace would have been like a river, your righteousness like the waves of the sea.’” (Isaiah 48:17-18) I know that I wish I had stayed on the right path instead of breaking fellowship with Him.

I think that in my backsliding times I probably was even more wicked than before I accepted Jesus into my heart. Satan wants to make a shambles of our witness for Jesus. He can make sin look mighty inviting. It’s hard to believe that God still loves us when we are so far from Him. But, praise the Lord, He can bring us back to Him and restore the fellowship we once had. I pray I never go astray again. In Hosea 14:4 He tells us: “I will heal their waywardness and love them freely.” If we just repent and turn our hearts to Him. “‘Even now,’ declares the LORD, ‘return to me with all your heart, with fasting and weeping and mourning.’ Rend your heart and not your garments. Return to the LORD your God, for he is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in love.”

It was while taking the Experiencing God class that I truly sought to love God with all my heart. This is when I was miraculously healed of my pain and suffering and knew I was forgiven. I had prayed for so long to have the same joy I did when I was first saved…I found it again! “Because your love is better than life, my lips will glorify you.” (Psalm 62:3)

“Everyone who believes that Jesus is the Christ is born of God, and everyone who loves the father loves his child as well. This is how we know that we love the children of God: by loving God and carrying out his commands. This is love for God: to obey his commands. And his commands are not burdensome, for everyone born of God overcomes the world. This is the victory that has overcome the world, even our faith.” (1 John 5:1-4)

When we put our faith in action and believe what God promises us, we can have the peace that passes all understanding. When you love God with all your heart you will learn to trust Him with all your burdens. You give Him the freedom to heal you and bless you.

“May our LORD Jesus Christ himself and God our Father who loved us and by his grace gave us eternal encouragement and good hope, encourage your hearts and strengthen you in every good deed and word.” (2 Thessalonians 2:16-17)

Read Part 23

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